A confusing side effect
by dodger-chan
Summary: Hisoka really hates teenage hormones. Some silliness from the King of Swords arc. It could use a better title.


This one, I have no excuse for. Hisoka demanded I let him be a main character after I wrote another story about Muraki. I'm sure he regrets asking.

I don't own any aspect of this series, although many of the main characters have taken up residence in the portion of my brain that used to contain my computer programming skills. If anyone has a place for Muraki, please take him.

* * *

"Nothing?"

"Nothing."

"Then I'll try again." Hisoka shuddered. He hadn't wanted Tsubaki-hime to kiss him the first time. Still, she was a very forward and determined girl; there really wasn't any saying no to her. And she certainly was eager. This kiss was far deeper than the previous, letting Hisoka in on far more secrets than Tsubaki-hime would ever want to share. "Still nothing?"

"I'm sorry." She was angry. Frustrated. Exceedingly anxious that he be interested, excited, aroused. Weird girl. But he did like her. There was something about her forward nature and kindness that made him genuinely care. He wanted her to be happy. Why else would he have left his cabin that night to go see her?

"Don't you like being kissed, Azumi?" Exasperation soaked her words and tone as much as her emotions.

"I'm very sorry." She grabbed Hisoka's wrist and dragged him off the near empty deck, down to her cabin. Ominous determination pounded through Hisoka's head. He should have stayed in his room. Watching Tsuzuki scarf strawberries and drink would have been irritating, but it would have been so much less dangerous than this stubborn, beautiful girl that he just wasn't attracted to.

"Are you gay?" No hesitation, no uncertainty; it was a demand more than a question.

"Wh..w..no!" Hisoka had not expected that question. Not that any preparation would have helped him avoid that irritating rush of blood to his cheeks. "I'm not gay."

"You're just more interested in your dealer than in me?"

"NO! He's just such an idiot, he gets himself in trouble a lot. And as my employee, he's my responsibility." He could tell her what Muraki had wanted, what the doctor had very nearly attained. He didn't want her to hear it, though. She shouldn't have to find out anything about Muraki unless it was absolutely unavoidable. The murder was enough for her to deal with for now. Tsubaki-hime had stepped slightly back from him.

"Do you like me at all, Azumi?"

Hisoka wasn't sure how to answer, so he kissed her instead. It wasn't so hard, once he steeled himself to block her feelings. It wasn't nice of him to lead her on, he knew, but he also knew she wasn't expecting much. A short pleasure to pass the time on a trip and a few memories. He could certainly offer her that much. She pulled herself closer to him, pressing herself tight against his body. Again, Hisoka prepared himself and avoided flinching when her hands wandered across his back and one started working its way down to the edge of his pants. She thrust her hips forward, grinding against him, then suddenly let go, her mind full of disappointment.

"Nothing again." Her tone implied she was simply curious, but Hisoka could tell her true feelings were far from detached.

"I'm sorry." There was nothing else to say. Hisoka fumbled with the door to her cabin and backed out.

"It's alright, Hibiki-san." She slammed the door in his face.

It had been a very stupid idea, and of course it had backfired. Tsubaki-hime was even more unhappy. What he felt for Tsubaki-hime made it so hard to lie to her, hard to work around her. Maybe he should ask Tsuzuki for advice. Tsuzuki cared about every soul they had to collect; how did he deal with the emotions?

"He----y, Soka!"

Right. By insuring that his blood was so contaminated with sugar and alcohol that normal thought processes were impossible.

"Cel'brate w' me, Soka. I won."

"Won what?" Why was he even asking?

"Th' drin'kin contesht." Tsuzuki laughed, apparently amused at Hisoka's ignorance. Hisoka glanced down and noticed Gushoshin passed out on the ground. Tomorrow morning was going to be fun. "You do' wanna drink wi' me, Soka?"

Ignoring Tsusuki, Hisoka grabbed his night clothes and ducked into the bathroom to clean up. He probably should take a bath, but he's too tired. Exhausting day: finding a dead body, cheating at cards, trying not to let Muraki see he was cheating at cards, trying to dismiss the suspicion that Muraki knew he was cheating but for some reason didn't care. Not to mention kissing a girl, his first time, too. Of course, she wasn't as difficult as Muraki. Just tiring.

As he stepped out of the bathroom, his foot kicked a champagne bottle and sent it into a wall. That the clatter illicited no complaint was unsurprising, that Tsuzuki had nothing at all to say was, until Hisoka noticed the man was sleeping happily in the middle of the bed. His bed. Just great. Hisoka need that soft surface tonight.

Annoyed, Hisoka lay down right on top of Tsuzuki's outstretched arm. The man deserved to wake up with it numb. And an irritated Hisoka tried to sleep, ignoring the presence of Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki's presence, however, was difficult to ignore, as the man had rolled over and now had his arm draped over Hisoka. How perfect. He turned on his side, about to wake the man but found he was unable.

Not because a sleeping Tsuzuki was too beautiful to be disturbed. The man drooled. Not because Tsuzuki had had a tiring day as well and proabaly needed the sleep. Hisoka had no qualms with waking an exhausted Tsuzuki to insure that _he_ got a good night's rest. Hisoka let Tsuzuki sleep to protect himself from the teasing. Because when he'd rolled over, Tsuzuki's hand had brushed across his stomach and he was now aroused. Noticeably aroused.

"This couldn't have happened when I was with Tsubaki-hime, could it?" Fates unwilling to answer, Hisoka was left with little choice but to lie in the darkness, waiting for sleep.

Hisoka hated teenage hormones.

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So review. Now..er, please. 


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